Expect the Unexpected

On this journey with the Lord, I have begun to expect the unexpected. Once again, in what is beginning to seem like a daily occurrence, my life and plans have been turned completely upside down, shaken up, and scattered to the wind. Yesterday afternoon at work, my manager called me into her office to chat about “how things are going.” The long and short of the conversation is that I need to find a new job – ASAP. I am not getting fired, the decision for the moment is my own, but we both strongly agree that this hospital and this unit are not the place for me to be at this point in my life. I had actually been thinking along those lines for some time. Although it brings so much uncertainty and leaves so many questions open, by the grace of God I am neither anxious nor worried, but am quite relieved and believe this is an answer to prayer. With the simultaneous change and transition in every aspect of my life and all the problems that I have had to deal with since moving here, I find myself less than capable of coping with the demands of working in an ICU in the biggest, busiest hospital in the heart of DC. It is simply too much. I hate my job and I hate this city and I have become totally burned out. I have not been myself for quite some time.

Although I hate DC, I have no intention of leaving the area. I have goals to accomplish and I intend to accomplish them. With leaving my current position, I hope to focus more intensely on the original reason for my move out here, that is my academic goals, as well as recover some of the balance that has been lacking in my life for so long. I don’t look forward to starting a new job and a new academic program at the same time, but it is in the hands of God.

So, with all that being said, please pray for me that I recover my health and sanity, and that I soon find the right job for what I need right now. And for those of you in the DC area, if you are aware of any nursing positions open, please let me know. For those of you back home in California, I have absolutely no idea what this means for the visit I had planned for August. Thank you all, once again for your prayers and support as I continue to tread this journey.