Petition for Prayer

Dear friends, truth be told, I am in a dire state. These last three and a half months have been very difficult ones, and although the bedbugs are gone, my troubles at work have only gotten worse (and I still can’t figure out what to do about my car!). Although there are things here in MD/DC that I definitely enjoy, among them a few people I have met, my music lessons, and a neighborhood in spring that could rival any botanical garden, I am not adjusting well at all. Truly, I think that these have been some of the most humbling weeks of my life. I still love nursing, and I like the hospital, the unit, and the people with whom I work, however, I am not learning things the way I need to be. What, in the beginning of my training can be attributed to just being new and overwhelmed, no longer has an excuse. In fact, I am basically failing. What I have been able to cope with and struggle along with on my own at other times in my life, when in an environment as intense as this one, I come face to face with my own limitations and failure, and fall flat on my face. Yesterday should have been the last day of my orientation/preceptorship, but they have decided to keep me with a preceptor for another couple of weeks. Although my preceptor, an amazingly patient woman, is vaguely hopefully that I will get better, she seems nearly at the end of her rope with exasperation and frustration at my inability to cope and learn. It seems to me that if things do not improve very soon, they will have no reason to keep me because I will not be able to perform at the level necessary to keep up with the work and provide the care needed. Although God has brought me here for a reason, I am doubtful that I will survive and succeed, and I do not know what His plans are. In coming to a realization of my limitations at work, I also begin to wonder how I am going to cope in graduate school, especially with a job. All this may seem like a bit of an exaggeration or unnecessary worry, but I assure you that it is not, it is the plain truth. Truly, I am at the end of my rope, and I don't know what else to do. In short, dear friends, I beg your prayers, not only for myself but for my preceptor who deserves every blessing for what she has gone through in trying, unsuccessfully, to teach me. Thank you, and may God bless you abundantly.